The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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