I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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