For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
