too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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