i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
