You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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