At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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