we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
