Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.

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  (212): This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING. http://tfl.nu/5495
  Replies (2) Good night (1036) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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  (703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh
  Replies (14) Good night (1241) Bad night (3445)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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  (617): i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it. http://tfl.nu/hw4z
  Replies (105) Good night (7567) Bad night (1953)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name

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  (610): It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name http://tfl.nu/7lfm
  Replies (13) Good night (4755) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  vagina is talking i cant

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  (845): vagina is talking i cant http://tfl.nu/cyjf
  Replies (37) Good night (3634) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla

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  (201): dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla http://tfl.nu/0yq4
  Replies (13) Good night (4437) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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  (515): Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit http://tfl.nu/4m5n
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (2231)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer

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  (519): I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer http://tfl.nu/xxja
  Replies (11) Good night (2673) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1041) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  What's an angry pirate?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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  (702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl
  Replies (32) Good night (1162) Bad night (1607)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.

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  (860): Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both. http://tfl.nu/abj8
  Replies (7) Good night (1757) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

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  (228): We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver http://tfl.nu/kd5u
  Replies (4) Good night (1630) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.

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  (412): My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help. http://tfl.nu/9s63
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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  (256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.

  (206): View more from Washington

  I should have never moved out...

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  (773): The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese. (206): I should have never moved out... http://tfl.nu/kyqk
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (460)

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