covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.