Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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