we have officially lost it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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