I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize