I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
