Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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