grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This house was built for laser tag.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize