MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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