i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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