The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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