I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
