we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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