5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You are the jesus of drinking
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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