I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
