What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
