There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We just shotgunned beers for America
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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