YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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