when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
