Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When did angry sex become our thing?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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