i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the condom got lost in my hair
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch