And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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