Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
