I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
