just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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