omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
