So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
