he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
