you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize