I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
