Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
