But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
