I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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