If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
