Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
