He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
