My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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