It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
