He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
