So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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