Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
do herpes really smell.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
