I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize