just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just cropdusted the office
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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