Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
