Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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