Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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