just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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