They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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