apparently the secret to your success is patron
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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